


13 year olds are the meanest people in the world

by maddiebug



Series: Vaguely based off of John Mulaney quotes [5]
Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Crack, F/M, Funny, Lila is mentioned, based off of john mulaney, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-03
Updated: 2019-10-03
Packaged: 2020-11-22 23:51:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 671
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20882723
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maddiebug/pseuds/maddiebug
Summary: Marinette rolled her eyes at Adrien before turning back to her daughter. "So you turned him down and he just started attacking you?""Yeah. Pretty much.""Have you tried talking to him, being nice?""I have. It hasn't worked. He told everyone that I attacked him, when he attacked me.""Then tell someone the truth. Talk to your friends.""They don't believe me." Emma groaned. "Luke Rossi is the worst."Marinette turned to Adrien. "Rossi? As in Lila?""Yep.""Son of the Lila who asked you out and then blackmailed you into dating her by hurting me?""That would be the same one.""Thirteen year olds are the worst." Marinette nodded."They make fun of you, but in an accurate way." Adrien piped up.





	13 year olds are the meanest people in the world

Emma Agreste stomped through the bakery doors, her hands clenched into fists.

"Whoa, kitten, are you okay?" Adrien stepped out from behind the counter. "Do you want some cookies?"

"I want to punch Luke in the face."

"Who?" Adrien frowned. He knew most of Emma's friends pretty well. But the name Luke didn't ring any bells.

"Luke Rossi." Emma took a breath. "He's a liar and he's trying to turn everyone against me."

"Let me guess, his mother is Lila Rossi?"

"How'd you know?"

"I went to school with her." Adrien shook his head. "She wasn't a very nice person."

"Who?" Marinette walked out from the kitchen. "If this is about me telling you that cat and Ladybug themed pastries were a bad idea, I'm standing by my opinion."

"No!" Adrien frowned. "But I do think that would be cute."

"But risky."

"We don't even have the miraculous anymore."

"I'm the guardian. We have all of them." Marinette waved, chasing the subject. "If it wasn't the cookies, what were you talking about?" 

"There's this new guy in my class. Luke."

"Okay. What about him?"

"He keeps making things up. He lies and told me that he would take all my friends away from me." Emma frowned, "Even Hugo doesn't believe me and we're twins."

"Did you do anything to provoke him?"

"No! I mean, he asked me to homecoming and I said I had my eye on someone else, but..."

"Who?"

"My Ladybug." Emma winked. "I mean, I don't even swing that way."

Adrien nodded. "That's my girl."

Marinette coughed. "You're not gay, you married me."

"I meant the Ladybug thing..."

Marinette rolled her eyes at Adrien before turning back to her daughter. "So you turned him down and he just started attacking you?"

"Yeah. Pretty much."

"Have you tried talking to him, being nice?"

"I have. It hasn't worked. He told everyone that I attacked him, when he attacked me."

"Then tell someone the truth. Talk to your friends."

"They don't believe me." Emma groaned. "Luke Rossi is the worst."

Marinette turned to Adrien. "Rossi? As in Lila?"

"Yep." Adrien nodded.

"Son of the Lila who asked you out and then blackmailed you into dating her by hurting me?"

"That would be the same one." He confirmed.

"Sweetie, I want you to know from the bottom of my heart," Marinette looked back at Emma, a dark glint in her eyes. "I give you my full permission to Cataclysm him."

"Don't." Adrien yelped. "I mean, I never did that with Lila."

"Okay." Marinette shrugged, "but you can't tell me it didn't cross your mind."

"I thought about it once or twice.." Adrien shook his head. "No. We don't Cataclysm people."

"He's so mean though." Emma frowned.

"Thirteen year olds are the worst." Marinette nodded.

"They make fun of you, but in an accurate way." Adrien piped up. "They'll be all like haha, look at that high waisted man, he's got feminine hips.... and I'll be like, 'No!!!"

"That's the thing you're sensitive about?" Marinette raised her eyebrows.

"We all have our insecurities." 

"Sure, but you were a literal supermodel."

"I don't see how that's relevant-"

"-you're gorgeous. Who cares about your waist."

"People who make pants, apparently. My father always criticized me for-"

"Your father criticizes everyone."

"As fascinating as this conversation about dad's unnatural waist is, I'm going to work on homework." Emma interrupted. "Thanks guys, I got this." Emma smiled, heading for her room. "I know what I'm gonna do."

"Wait, my waist is normal." Adrien cried, "And you can't cataclysm people."

She turned around. "Mom said I could."

"I mean..." Marinette shrugged. "His mom worked with hawkmoth."

"That doesn't mean that he's with Papillion. I've got a better idea." He whispered something to Marinette, who nodded.

"Adrien that's perfect. He will definitely leave her alone."

Emma frowned. "What he say?"

Marinette smirked. "Have I ever told you about how I dealt with Lila?"

"No? You've never even mentioned her before today." Emma frowned. 

"Well, it's quite the story..."


End file.
